Everybody Farts

Everybody Farts

In the spirit of keeping things real, I’m going to tell you an embarrassing story that involves me.

I wasn’t going to share this but I realized, if it was one of the boys, I wouldn’t hesitate to share.  So if they get upset about me sharing embarrassing stories about them, I can point them to some I wrote about myself.  And anyway, it’s funny.  So funny I still laugh hard when I think about it.  If you see me walking around and all of a sudden I just burst out laughing, it’s probably because I’m recalling this event in my head.

Everybody farts.  Everybody.  Even the Queen of England. I do my best to not let one rip in public unlike many others.  Toots are done in private or in front of people you love.  That’s how you know it’s real.  When you can fart in front of someone and not care. (Should I care?  Sorry Husbeast if I should and I don’t.)

Something I ate last night did not agree with me.  Cuddlebug and I were cuddling in bed last night as he was drifting off to sleep.  He’s not feeling very well and was having a rough time settling down.  I was in the sanctuary of my own room with just Cuddlebug, a safe place.  He was almost asleep when it happened.  It was an SBD, silent but deadly.

His eyes pop open, “You fart?”

Then he starts to cough.  The bad, I’m-about-to-puke cough.  And then he puked on me.

“Mommy fart.  I throw up.”

I feel like the worst mom on the planet not only because I made him throw up but because I couldn’t keep myself from laughing.  The only time I have ever laughed while being puked on.

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