The Shower

Bathing: Before Kids and After Kids.

Bath time.  Aah, 15 mins of uninterrupted me time… Yeah right.

Remember way back when, when showers and baths were relaxing and pleasant experiences?  Me neither.  It was so long ago.  A shower post kids goes something like this:

First comes convincing me he needs to join me in the shower, “I stinky too.  Shower wif Mommy?”  No.

I finally shoo him out of the bathroom and turn on the latest TV craze, “Mighty Machines”.

30 seconds into the shower, a scream at the door.  Not an “I’m in pain scream” or an angry scream.  Just a scream to make sure I know he’s there and can hear him over the running water.

Then knocking on the door because I might not have heard the scream.  The knocking moves to the wall because maybe I can’t hear the door knock.

Tiger Boy’s turn.  Cuddlebug is still knocking when I here Tiger Boy say, “Mom, unlock the door!  I have to go pee!”

“Go outside.”  (We only have one bathroom and we live in the country so I can get away with that.)

“But it’s cold.”

“Outside or wait.”

Then I hear what sounds like a wrestling match at the door.  Growls, sounds of heads hitting walls, scratches at the door.  “Ow!  Stop!”

Next the sound of metal scraping metal meets my ears. Whoever taught the 2 year old how to open locked doors with a table knife…  Mean, nasty thoughts. Mean, nasty thoughts.

Wet and dripping, I take the knife away and shoo him back out the door.  I’m stubborn.  I will get my shower.  Alone.  ish.

2 mins later, “I HAFFA GO POOP!”

Big exhale.  They win.

*Photo Credit:*


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